Losing someone you loved

Mom

It’s been 19 days since my Mom passed away and still looks unreal. Sometimes I feel she is coming back from work. Everything happen so fast; she didn’t look sick, she was 100% alert, young and always caring and the most important thing always smile.  Unfortunately, she lost her battle against a silent cancer in gall bladder.

There are times when I question myself if I missed any symptoms. Was I not paying attention because of my hectic and busy life. I question myself, why my mom made me the decision maker and how I started questioning if I took the best medical decisions. I leave it in God’s  hand because there is nothing I can do. I’ll just let time heal my pain.  ( I don’t know if its a coincidence or what but, my friend just send me this text as I’m writing this blog )

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” ~Mother Teresa

Always praying for your strength xo- Jennifer.

To be honest I never understood  someone else’s pain until now.  I have friends that already have gone through this kind of pain losing parents, sibling and family members. I would always say something like “I’m sorry about your loss” or “my deepest sympathy” but never felt their pain until now.  Now, I feel their pain and I know those words have a big meaning. Now I can related to any who have lost someone.  My mother was everything for me. She taught me good values and morals. She encourage me to find my own American Dream. She was always so caring and always helping other who needed it. All I have from her are her lessons.

The ways of coping for are different among everyone, people cope in different ways. I focused on other things like photography and other things that make my fulfill with joy. Talking to friends and  random people I have hope that one day I’ll see her again. Many have told me that they have seeing their love one through a dream, and other have felt their presence.

I just pray God that one day I’ll simply see her again to tell how Thankful I am and how much I love her.

Through the last weeks I have come with 10 things that have help me cope.

1. Surround yourself with family and friends.
2. Play happy music or listen to motivational podcasts.
3. 15 minute walk
4. Write letters to your loved one
5. Go out and take pictures of any kind
6. Find something to do to keep you happy ( hobby)
7. Journal
8. Deep clean your house donate things you don’t longer need.
9. Don’t judge about grieving.
10. Always take one day at a time

We all cope in different ways.

 

Fashion

Spring Look #100 Spring is finally here!

Source: Fashion

Dreams come true! Best outfit Ever!

safely said that I started my family at a very young age. I was only 17, naïve and financially unstable.  Those days I will never forget because I struggle between not having enough money to provide for my kids. I getting through check by check. I cried.  However, I am not ashamed because it make me work harder for my dreams and for the role model I wanted to be for my kids. Did a struggle ? Totally.   There were days I honestly  wanted to give up. I had issues many issues but who doesn’t. Some how I always find a way to motivate and never gave up through rough days.

One day I was walking in the busy streets of downtown Chicago and I saw a van with the National Guard logo. For some reason that image stuck in my head for days. One day out of the blues I met with a recruiter which some how became good friends and I enlisted and that was the best one of the best decisions ever. I was nervous at the begin because I always struggled with my weight but I accepted my own challenge and I made it through.

Somehow,  I felt like I had  found something that I truly love and I have passion about it.  Obviously, young and with two dreams seemed impossible to reach but I  took baby steps.  I always remembered that our thoughts turn into physical things therefore, I always visualize positive things and here I am living one of the best moments ever. Serving my country, wearing the best outfit ever with pride and Thanking God for every moment in my life. Don’t give up Dreams do come true they just take time and patience.

Chicago Bears Game 2015- Charles Tillman Football Cornerback

 

 

 

Depression Is Not a style

Depression

I want all of us to pay attention to signs other might have given us, but we have completely ignore.  In the past two years I son had suffered from severe depression and self harming.  I always blamed myself of his circumstances, however  that wasn’t true because I’m always helping others and I am very positive and happy person. I thought I had failed like a mom. I did research in how to help my son through his issues but I couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for. I always been a super busy parent and I barely have time for myself. It might sound selfish in my part but, it’s the truth. Other can judge me, however at the end of the month I am the only one that pays mortgage, bills, etc.. I wish I was a home stayed mom but that is impossible. Oops ! I’m off the topic! Going back to my son’s depression I wanted to help. One of my first source was going to school I knew something was up with him , but to my surprise the school couldn’t help they say they couldn’t do anything. I was in shock. I called few places for therapy some were on waiting list and some other I left voicemail. A lot of people told me not to worry because it was a teen thing. I was like a teen thing !!! No wonder we have so many people messed up. I told myself I wasn’t going to give up on my kid. I did a lot of research and learn that their programs can help kids that are suffering from depression, low self-steam, anger, self-injury and substance abuse

5 signs that something is wrong.

• Isolation
• Aggression
• Moody
• Sadness (Hopeless)
• Lost of interest

Things we can do to help our love one

• Realized that they need professional help. (Some people are in denial)
• Be patient ( Some that might be insignificant for us might be big for them)
• Talk and be an active listener
• Periodically check on your love one.
• Help establish small goals
• Find local services

I know that our kids need their privacy but it never hurts to go through their room and backup. If they live under our roof and we provide all basic needs  we have the right. Be opened minded as well and periodically check their social media. Just want to let you that my son was hospitalized for almost two months and he is the best shape ever, more confident and more enthusiastic about life.

If you have questions please feel to comment. I ‘m not an expert but I will give my best advise.  I just want you to know that you are not alone.